Theiastuck - A Homestuck Fanadventure

So. I’ve had a lot of people asking me about Theiastuck lately.

Let’s ignore the fact that I’ve had the most awful two months a person could have which affected my productivity and drive. Let’s ignore it, for just one moment.

The other fact is, I think the EOA 5 and Act 6 have jossed my face so thoroughly I have no idea what to do with Theiastuck. And it sucks, you know? I really liked Theiastuck. I enjoyed writing it and drawing it and getting feedback, and I had a lot of ideas for it. My first fanadventure! I was so excited about it!

But I honestly don’t know what to do about it now. I don’t even have an inkling of how and where to anchor it back to canon. I’ve established too many things that can’t happen with the way canon has progressed, and I’m entirely uncomfortable with the concept of changing canon facts just so my story would work.

I’m afraid Theiastuck is going to be on hiatus until I figure this out. And if I don’t… well, you guys will be the first to know if I end up dropping it. I really don’t want to, but…

I’m really sorry, everyone.

> Mr. Egbert: Contact Old Man Harley.

You do just that during your short drive back home using your handy Bluetooth headset. As expected, your old uncle has been awake for several hours. Despite being 101 years old and getting around with a knee replacement, he still wakes up at 5AM every morning to practice his marksmanship skills on helpless butterflies. It seems nothing short of a natural disaster will stop this guy.

He is only mildly surprised by your account of alien children, if only because his granddaughter brought home three of them. He is currently very busy scouring their personal computers for information on a game called SBURB (with their explicit permission, he promises). He requests that you ask the aliens you have with you about their involvement with that oddly-named game. However, your request to let them rest and feed first has been approved.

> John: Greet your dad.

JOHN: dad! oh man you will never guess what happened when you…

JOHN: oh. wow, i guess you can!

JOHN: you guys are vriska’s friends, aren’t you?

SOLLUX: n0t really.

JOHN: heh, vriska said you might say that. you’re sollux, right? and you’re aradia!

ARADIA: thats right

ARADIA: its really nice to meet you john!

JOHN: it’s great meeting you guys too! man, i can’t believe my dad found you, of all people!

JOHN: hey, where’s karkat? vriska said we’re supposed to be best earth buddies or something like that. isn’t he with you?

ARADIA: um well

SOLLUX: it2 20rt of c0mplicated.

DAD: son, would you come over and help me carry this boy inside?

JOHN: oh my god. what happened to him?

ARADIA: he got run over by a scuttle— i mean a car

SOLLUX: y0ur guardian 2ay2 he will be 0kay but…

JOHN: karkat? karkat, it’s me, john. you know? your earth buddy?

JOHN: i mean, i guess i’m your earth buddy, vriska says i was before, even though i can’t remember…

JOHN: i really want to get to know you! vriska said all sorts of things about you and you sound like a lot of fun…

JOHN: please be okay…

KARKAT: …F-FUCK…

JOHN: karkat…?

KARKAT: …JOHN…?

JOHN: karkat!!! you’re okay!!!

SOLLUX: KK!

ARADIA: what a relief!

KARKAT: HEAD… PAIN… WHY…

> Bro: Be hiding in the ceiling vents, wonder what the fuck is going on.

Why hide in vents when you can just put the house key in the keyhole, twist it turnways and..

Just what the fuck is going on here.

BRO: hey lil guy

BRO: whos the demon chick

DAVE: oh hey

DAVE: bro this is terezi

DAVE: and terezi this is bro

DAVE: hey what the hell get back down here

TEREZI: L1K3 H3LL 1 W1LL!!! WHY 1S TH4T TH1NG ON YOUR CUSTOD14NS SHOULD3R?!

DAVE: its ok tez its just lil cal

DAVE: hes cool

TEREZI: 4R3 YOU K1DD1NG M3?! TH4T TH1NG 1S 3V1L 1NC4RN4T3!

DAVE: dude hes just a stupid puppet chill

TEREZI: OH GOD G3T 1T 4W4Y FROM M3!!!

Hahah, thanks! Yeah, Gamzee’s been through a lot. There’s still a good amount of the old Gamzee inside, don’t worry. At this point of the adventure, he hasn’t slept enough so all the bad stuff is floating to the surface.

And when the next update will be? Well… RIGHT NOW!!! It’s time to close the ask box and thank EVERYONE for their wonderful questions! There will probably be another Q&A once the plot moves a bit more forward. Until then, back to your not-so-regularly scheduled Theiastuck! :D

Now, why do you assume they’ll all be at Rose’s house at some point? :3

The troll kids have already learned how to live on Earth! They’re still learning, but they have most of it figured out. There WILL be a bit of an adventure, though, and they still have to figure out why the Scratch did what it did!

The only food the troll kids are able to buy is junk food, since it’s cheap and easy. Sometimes you’re on the road and NEED a warm meal, but you’re low on cash and can’t hunt or anything, and that’s when you buy a burger or chicken salad. Otherwise, the trolls steal a lot of food from convenience stores. Sometimes Nepeta was able to hunt for the lot of them. At first they had Tavros commune with animals and lead them to Nepeta, but he felt too awful about it to continue. Poor kid is a vegetarian.

As Terezi’s descriptions of how colors smell suggest, troll food is not very different from human food. They’re more likely to grind their own kind into a savory sauce and eat things while they’re still alive, but otherwise the similarities are uncanny. What trolls DON’T have is pastries and baked goods. Terezi loves that stuff, since she already has a serious sweet tooth, and Karkat thinks oatmeal cookies are pretty much the most brilliant thing humans have come up with.

Nepeta likes meat of all kinds! She’s not really picky about what kind of meat she eats, so even cheap burgers are okay. She still prefers food that she hunted herself, and has a taste for venison.

They were already at the age where the caliginous quadrant looks more attractive a sweep ago, and there are a few black crushes and one black relationship going on. None of this has a very big effect on group unity as much as the platonic relationships between the trolls do. Vriska and Aradia are actually more inclined to help each other out when needed because that means they can hate each other longer.

For any potential kismesitude that can only turn out badly for the team, there are auspistices. Those alternate a lot, except for in the case of Terezi and Vriska’s bitter rivalry, where only one person can keep them from tearing each other a new one.

Earth music is a lot more melodic than Alternian music, and for the most part they like it. Of course, they all have very different tastes.

Karkat: Everything goes. If he likes the sound of it, he’ll put it on his playlist. As such his playlist is a total mess, from death metal through electronic music to cheesy romantic ballads. And he is completely unashamed of it, naturally.

Aradia: Enjoys folk music from all across the globe.

Tavros: Adores Disney songs and incredibly cheesy pop music. He also thinks Earth hip-hop is brilliant, of course.

Sollux: Listens to electronic music while he hacks. Mostly ambient, industrial, house and dubstep.

Nepeta: Has a vast collection of Vocaloid songs, but generally likes anything with a perky beat.

Kanaya: Her favorite Earthen musician is Peter Gabriel, and she mostly enjoys his world music and quieter stuff. She’s also a fan of Annie Lennox and Roxette.

Terezi: Anything with a good beat you can rock out to. She loves air guitaring and air drumming and doesn’t care it looks stupid. She really enjoys bands with silly songs like They Might Be Giants and Da Vinci’s Notebook.

Vriska: Loves all the metal. All of it. Heavy and black and death and power, just give her a massive amount of guitars and she’s pleased.

Equius: Legitimately enjoys classical music, especially baroque.

Gamzee: Likes hip-hop and rap. And no, he will not touch Insane Clown Posse with a ten-foot pole.

Eridan: After a failed attempt to enjoy indie rock, Eridan found a love for jazz. THAT is classy.

Feferi: Pretty much anything you can dance to.

Duuuuuude, you don’t really expect me to answer stuff even Hussie hasn’t addressed yet? Right? XD Once those will be answered I’ll figure out how they fit in the plot of Theiastuck.

For the record, however, in Theiastuck Jaspers never went anywhere. Rose didn’t accidentally disappearify him when she was 13, after all.

Also, wasn’t Liv Tyler supposed to be the original bunny from Con Air that Dave got through shenanigans?

My headcanon is that Trollian translated the English alphabet to Daedric alphabet and vice-versa, regardless of what was shown onscreen.

It’s the only thing he’s willing to drink other than water. That said, he won’t drink more than 500 milliliters of Faygo a day. It’s less that he’s addicted to Faygo and more like, he’s scared that bad things will happen if it will run out. It’s highly irrational, but it’s what keeps him from having a nervous breakdown.

Yes, her strongly-developed telekinesis remains. Being alive and not God Tier, though, it took her a few months to readjust.

Nope. Team Rose passed through Nevada on the way to New York, but through the north rather through the south, where Las Vegas is.

They’ve heard about Vegas, of course, and some of them would love to go someday (especially Feferi and Terezi).

Hahah aww gosh, if you want! Look at me here, blushing like a beet.

Karkat has a plan. We’ll get back to him on that once he wakes up.

The update is running a bit late and will be posted around this time tomorrow. Meanwhile, you can get a few last questions for the Theiastuck Q&A before I close the ask box for a while.

Get your questions in while you still can!